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This is what it feels like

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My wife and I live in North Carolina. She is an adjunct professor at UNC Chapel Hill and Im a medical records clerk at UNC Hospitals. We bought our house a year ago in Burlington which is as red as Chapel Hill is blue. A few days ago, this past Saturday we married each other, legally in Washington, DC. It was without a doubt one of the happiest days of my life. We married each other because we love one another but we also realized we had to do everything we possibly could to protect each other and our home so that was the motivator to get married and we chose the date so that we would be legally married regardless of whether or not amendment one passed. So.....amendement one did pass and now......

Today is my first day back to work since we left for DC last week. For days and days we've been getting "congratulations", gifts, hugs, smiles, just this amazing outpouring of love towards us, it's been so nice. Today though, I look around and realize 2 out of every 3 North Carolina citizens hates us.

Southernmapper and I both have jobs providing essential services to our fellow citizens. In a very real way, I hold many, many fellow citizens' lives in my hands every day. And now I know just how much hatred there really is towards my family, my love, my heart. I dont know why they hate us except that their preachers tell them to. I dont know why it's ok to elevate ONE particular faith tradition over all others. I dont know why it's ok for 15 year old kids to get married here (as long as they are "opposite sex") but not ok to respect my legal marriage. I dont know why we have to pay first class taxes yet be second class citizens.

I wish I knew how to attach photographs to posts because I would really like to show yall one of our wedding pictures, you'd see two middle aged hippy women so in love, so happy, so sweet...nothing to be afraid of, nothing weird or gross or scary or threatening or profane... Why dont we count? Why do we get to be shit on like this?

Im trying so hard to remind myself over and over, our marriage is LEGAL. Amendment one did NOTHING to that........but it's the knowing, knowing 2 out of 3 hate us that Im struggling with.

I love you southernmapper, with all my heart forever......but North Carolina (the state you love) can fucking burn in shit for all I care. If there is any way possible, we're getting the hell out of this shit-hole state.


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